My House of Lies – Awakening from a Childhood of Sexual Abuse
This shows my feelings prior to my remembering the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. I didn’t know that I had amnesia so my symptoms of terror seemed crazy. I could not understand why I was so gripped by these fears particularly the paranoia of someone “going to get me.”
Sexual abuse is felt as a physical assault whether or not physical contact is made. If an adult is leering children experience the effects internally as sensations in their body. In fear we hold our breath, tighten up, get anxious, numb out, deaden, feel flustered, feel tingly to name a few. Those are body sensations that are experienced while the leering sexualized assault is taking place . . . all feelings are felt in our bodies and directly effect us physically. HOW ABUSE AFFECTS YOUR BODY Sexual abuse is frightening and painful. Even when experiencing … Read more
I was tenacious in achieving goals as my life was spiraling out of control.
I only knew to implode with self blame from my experience with childhood sexual abuse. I had to learn to rage outwardly and not direct it at myself. I was tired of self blame.