identify your feelings

8 Steps to Heal Negative, Shameful Beliefs That Prevent Us From Developing Self-Worth

As a survivor of incest, I felt shame in the deepest part of me – my soul. I believed I was damaged; my insides felt like a criss cross of ugly scars that no one could see. I hid my shame by always looking “good” on the outside, while believing I was “getting one over” on everyone. I always thought to myself, “If only they knew.” I believed I was unlovable and unworthy since I was merely an outlet for my father’s perverse sexual needs coupled with my mother’s lack of protection. How could I … Read more

Believing I was going crazy

Believing I was going crazy

This shows my feelings prior to my remembering the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. I didn’t know that I had amnesia so my symptoms of terror seemed crazy. I could not understand why I was so gripped by these fears particularly the paranoia of someone “going to get me.”

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Psychologically

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Psychologically

Sexual abuse survivors develop coping mechanisms to survive not thrive. When safety is compromised, it is imperative that survivors protect themselves. The focus is in getting away from their bodies where the abuse is taking place. Natural childhood development is compromised. The Overall Way Adult Survivors Feel About Themselves When children live in fear and secrecy, they do not have a chance to develop good self-esteem. The nature of secrecy itself is damaging; often survivors believe that if anyone were to find out, they would be repulsed. Abuse leaves no room for a child to … Read more

Identifying Feelings and Knowing How You Feel

Identifying our feelings can be difficult and confusing. For a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it can seem daunting. If you are a survivor, like myself, you have been successful in avoiding sensations in your body through dissociation, which is a very skillful way to separate from yourself. To further disconnect, you may have turned to addiction, such as being a workaholic, food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, sex, or relationships. Your body is at war with itself . . . to feel is frightening. Often when a survivor is asked what he/she is feeling, the survivor … Read more

The Secrecy of Sexual Abuse Creates a Hidden Wall… Telling Breaks it Down

For a long time, I have wanted to write a book about growing up in my family with incest, my father my perpetrator.  Because I am a Psychotherapist and work with survivors of abuse and trauma, I felt it was important to do this. I recently wrote my book, My House of Lies, which is going to be completed in 2019.  In it I reveal my terrifying childhood and the painful and rewarding road to recovery. I started my sexual abuse memories six months after I entered Narcotics Anonymous in 1987 and was no longer … Read more