Ten Ways Survivors May Overcome Suffering from Childhood Abuse

10 Ways Survivors May Overcome Suffering from Childhood Abuse

Suffering is a conditioned response to abuse. Those who have suffered abuse grow up believing there is no way out, they are trapped and unable to get the abuse to stop. However, adult survivors can learn to stop being self-abusive and can develop a different way to treat themselves. They can learn self-compassion, self-love, and how to learn to be patient with their recovery. It is important for survivors to remember not only that new behaviors take practice and happen slowly over time, but also to learn to pat themselves on the back for trying. … Read more

Trauma Triggers – Reminders of Childhood Abuse

Trauma Triggers - Reminders of Childhood Abuse

When people experience childhood abuse, memories of it surface at unexpected times. Reminders of the abuse, called triggers, can appear suddenly without warning. Something in the present reminds survivors of their abuse. Suddenly you are hyper vigilant and on alert. You feel anxious, afraid, tense, want to get away, trapped, suffocated or helpless to name a few. Prior to this incident, you seemed OK. Because you are caught off guard, you believe “I must be going crazy,” or that this reaction does not make sense. It is often disturbing and frightening. Unless you know what … Read more

8 Steps to Heal Negative, Shameful Beliefs That Prevent Us From Developing Self-Worth

As a survivor of incest, I felt shame in the deepest part of me – my soul. I believed I was damaged; my insides felt like a criss cross of ugly scars that no one could see. I hid my shame by always looking “good” on the outside, while believing I was “getting one over” on everyone. I always thought to myself, “If only they knew.” I believed I was unlovable and unworthy since I was merely an outlet for my father’s perverse sexual needs coupled with my mother’s lack of protection. How could I … Read more

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Physically

Sexual abuse is felt as a physical assault whether or not physical contact is made. If an adult is leering children experience the effects internally as sensations in their body. In fear we hold our breath, tighten up, get anxious, numb out, deaden, feel flustered, feel tingly to name a few. Those are body sensations that are experienced while the leering sexualized assault is taking place . . . all feelings are felt in our bodies and directly effect us physically. HOW ABUSE AFFECTS YOUR BODY Sexual abuse is frightening and painful. Even when experiencing … Read more

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Psychologically

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Psychologically

Sexual abuse survivors develop coping mechanisms to survive not thrive. When safety is compromised, it is imperative that survivors protect themselves. The focus is in getting away from their bodies where the abuse is taking place. Natural childhood development is compromised. The Overall Way Adult Survivors Feel About Themselves When children live in fear and secrecy, they do not have a chance to develop good self-esteem. The nature of secrecy itself is damaging; often survivors believe that if anyone were to find out, they would be repulsed. Abuse leaves no room for a child to … Read more

Emergency Stage of Remembering

Emergency Stage of Remembering Childhood Sexual Abuse

YOU CAN HEAL … IT IS PAINFUL … IT TAKES TIME … YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE IT CAN END AS LONG AS YOU MAKE A DECISION TO RECOVER Emergency Stage of Remembering As a survivor, I can tell you it gets better with time and there is an end. At first the pain feels intolerable and impossible to believe that it will end. Once you know you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, whether you always remembered or had amnesia, it is overwhelming and frightening, shocking and rattles to the core. It is … Read more

Maladaptive Dissociation

Maladaptive Dissociation

I reached a point in my recovery from Incest where I understood that dissociation no longer served me. As a child it was adaptive, as an adult, it was maladaptive.

Identifying Feelings and Knowing How You Feel

Identifying our feelings can be difficult and confusing. For a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it can seem daunting. If you are a survivor, like myself, you have been successful in avoiding sensations in your body through dissociation, which is a very skillful way to separate from yourself. To further disconnect, you may have turned to addiction, such as being a workaholic, food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, sex, or relationships. Your body is at war with itself . . . to feel is frightening. Often when a survivor is asked what he/she is feeling, the survivor … Read more

Healing the Shame Within

HUNGERING SOUL … HEALING THE SHAME WITHIN My shame is a cloud prison My soul cries for something it cannot see It hungers to suck love’s milk and drink music A longing too deep to fill I want to cut thru these black and red clouds And breathe every bit of life lost God, open your blue and green door Let me rest my darkness in your open fields let me rock in your ocean’s cradle let me leap with your grey dolphins Let your sun burn my shame to whiteness By Lori Golden, self … Read more