Emotional Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Practicing Being Grateful: A Process of Recovery from Childhood Abuse

I first learned about “being grateful” in Narcotics Anonymous 33 years ago. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, these words sounded foreign to me. I learned to suffer at a young age, which became a conditioned way of life, and it was a shadow that followed me into adulthood. In short, I had nothing to be grateful for. It took me two years to become willing to look at my resistance to being grateful because I was afraid to challenge my conditioned belief that I deserved to suffer. My unwillingness to begin being grateful … Read more

There is FEAR IN CHANGE for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse: Why We Cannot Heal Alone

The definition of change is “become different.” It sounds simple, but it is not easy. It calls for us to step into unchartered territory without knowing what will happen. We like predictability and knowing what to expect. Before stepping into the unknown, we first have to identify how we protect ourselves. Self-protection was a life saver when suffering from childhood sexual abuse, but to grow beyond survival, we have to identify how we guard ourselves. Laying down our “protective weapons” means we are unsafe. If we lived in the war zone of abuse, we do … Read more

Trauma Triggers – Reminders of Childhood Abuse

When people experience childhood abuse, memories of it surface at unexpected times. Reminders of the abuse, called triggers, can appear suddenly without warning. Something in the present reminds survivors of their abuse. Suddenly you are hyper vigilant and on alert. You feel anxious, afraid, tense, want to get away, trapped, suffocated or helpless to name a few. Prior to this incident, you seemed OK. Because you are caught off guard, you believe “I must be going crazy,” or that this reaction does not make sense. It is often disturbing and frightening. Unless you know what … Read more

Sleepless Nights as a Result of Childhood Sexual Abuse

As I remembered my incest, it affected my sleep. I kept saying to myself, “I am JUST A CHILD – I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.”

Denial While The Sexual Abuse Was Happening

I realized how often I went into my head trying to figure out what is real during this recovery.

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Behaviorally

Childhood sexual abuse directly impacts the way we act in all areas of our lives, particularly in relationships where the underlying fear is most prevalent … leading to mistrust of others. How Abuse Effects Relationships Often there is a confusion about love and sex or comfort and sex. Survivors may want to be nurtured, but believe they can achieve this only through sex. There is difficulty in trusting others, letting people in, being able to ask for what you need or only able to identify what your partner wants and needs. Abuse leads to the … Read more

Believing I was going crazy

This shows my feelings prior to my remembering the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. I didn’t know that I had amnesia so my symptoms of terror seemed crazy. I could not understand why I was so gripped by these fears particularly the paranoia of someone “going to get me.”

Childhood Sexual Abuse Impact Survivors Psychologically

Sexual abuse survivors develop coping mechanisms to survive not thrive. When safety is compromised, it is imperative that survivors protect themselves. The focus is in getting away from their bodies where the abuse is taking place. Natural childhood development is compromised. The Overall Way Adult Survivors Feel About Themselves When children live in fear and secrecy, they do not have a chance to develop good self-esteem. The nature of secrecy itself is damaging; often survivors believe that if anyone were to find out, they would be repulsed. Abuse leaves no room for a child to … Read more